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Coercive Control: A Primer (work in progress)
Introduction
This review of the literature will offer an overview of coercive control drawing upon the conceptual framework offered by the world’s leading scholars and academics, primarily from the English language speaking world. In this overview we will identify the essential elements of coercive control and in doing so point out the similarities and differences to both Brasil’s domestic abuse legislation referred to as the Lei da Maria da Penha and to a romance fraud crime in Brasil known as Estelionato Sentimental.
While this discussion will draw upon a wide range of highly regarded scholars and researchers, extensive reference will be made to the work of two leading authorities on coercive control: United Kingdom scholar and researcher, Dr. Emma Katz, author of the highly acclaimed book, Coercive Control in Children’s and Mother’s Lives and the internationally acclaimed United States scholar, educator, expert witness, Dr. Lisa Aranson Fontes, author of the first book written for victims, Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship (2015).
These experts assert that in this type of abuse, while typically perpetrated by cis-gendered, heterosexual men towards women, aided and abetted by machoistic - patriarchal oppressive forces, people of all sexual and gender identities can be both perpetrator and victim (see C. Donovan & M. Hester, 2015; E. Stark & M. Hester, 2019). Furthermore, evidence indicates that in the United States, men in same-sex relationships experience domestic abuse rates similar to those of women partnered with men and three times higher then the rates of men partnered with women (Houston, E & McKirnan, D, 2007).
Coercive Control: An Ongoing, Pervasive Pattern of Abuse
Coercive Control, as a pattern of abuse, can be employed by a perpetrator in a variety of relationship types, including in dyads, family systems, cults, organizations, and at macro levels of society. These manifestations are beyond the scope of this overview, which will focus on the presence of coercive control in the sexual, “romantic” dyad. In the context of a sexual, “romantic” dyad, Coercive Control can be understood as a sustained, ongoing, pervasive pattern of abuse, in which a perpetrator employs a wide array of tactics to exert power-over and control-of a victim that leads to the isolation, exploitation, entrapment, domination and subjugation of the victim over time (J. Daw et al, 2022; M. Dutton et al, 2006; L. Fontes, 2015, 2017, 2019; J. Herman, 1992; E. Katz, 2022a, 2022b; T. Pittman, 2017; D. Shaw, 2014; E. Stark, 2007; E. Stark & M. Hester, 2019). Patterns of coercive control may include physical violence or be reliant on nonviolent methods of coercive control in a form referred to as nonviolent coercive control (K. Crossman et al, 2016).
Evan Stark (personal communication, September 28, 2022), cautions that while we might refer to coercive control as nonviolent when it presents with the absence of physical assault, it is not inherently any less coercive; “in fact, coercive control without violence almost always includes constraints on speech, movement, money, time, etc…which can harm liberty as much as physical assaults”.
Additionally, “studies have demonstrated, that a pattern of coercive controlling behaviors can precede, motivate, or increase the likelihood of violence in relationships” (C. Cocchiola, personal communication, September 26, 2022). This is to say that previous patterns of nonviolent coercive control can escalate to include physical violence, including abuse-induced (or forced) suicide and homicide, especially at separation or escape (J. Monckton-Smith, 2021).
The drive on the part of the perpetrator to exert power over a victim is underscored by coercive control experts. Dr. Lisa Aranson Fontes (2016) describes “coercive control” as “a strategy some people use to dominate their intimate partners”. In Dr. Torna Pittman’s (2017) conceptualization of nonviolent coercive control, the presence of unilateral rule making, double standards and double binds are essential elements. Dr. Evan Stark (2021) regards coercive control as a “strategic course of conduct designed to impose …inequalities in personal life by dominating, exploiting and degrading a partner…”. United Kingdom expert and author of the book Coercive Control and the Criminal Law, Cassandra Weiner (2022), states that “coercive control is a calculated strategy of domination.”
A Brief History of Coercive Control
In the arena of domestic abuse, as a conceptual framework, coercive control had been explored by feminist researchers in what had been referred to as ‘coercive persuasion’, since the 1970s. With research that had begun in the 1990s, sociologist Dr. Evan Stark brought the concept of coercive control to the fore in his groundbreaking 2007 publication, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life.
This effort portrayed a deepened understanding of domestic abuse, offering the description of a calculated, ongoing, pervasive pattern of abuse, that stood in contrast with the ‘episodes of violence’ model. This viewpoint was further echoed in M. Johnson’s (2008) description of a typology of domestic abuse that included what he called ‘intimate terrorism’, coercive control by another name.
In the analysis of the tactics of abuse employed in coercive control, similarities have been identified with those first described by Albert Biderman as used against male prisoners of war in his 1957 analysis of the psychological tactics of torture employed by the Chinese against American soldiers (K. Doychak, 2022). (see E. Stark, 2007, chapter 7 for extended history of coercive control)
A Note on Nomenclature
Of note, some experts refer to targets of coercive control as “partners” (E. Stark & M. Hester, 2019); others refer to them as “victims” or “victims/survivors” (E. Katz, 2022a; C. Weiner, 2022) and sometimes both “partner” and “victim” (L. Fontes, 2015). For Lisa Fontes (2015) use of the word “victim” underscores the “power dynamic” inherent in coercive control (p.13). We prefer the use of the nomenclature, “victim” to denote the idea that coercive control is an undesired pattern of conduct meant to harm the target of abuse (Women’s Aid UK, 2022) and not the typical mutually agreed upon pattern of activity of intimate partners.
On Gay Male Relationships
In their book, What’s Love Got to Do with It, Catherine Donovan and Marianne Hester (2015) report on their study, one of the few research inquiries that examined coercive control in same-gender relationships. Below is their observation about the heterosexually-informed gendered roles that seem to take shape in gay male relationships in the presence of coercive control. While an under-explored phenomenon, they underscore that in terms of who exerts power and control, it may relate less to gender than to who occupies what might be thought of as the traditional masculine role.
The patterns of interaction “then, underpin and reinforce relationship rules in abusive relationships: that the relationship is for the abusive partner and on their terms and that the victim/survivor is responsible for the care of the abusive partner and the maintenance of the relationship, including parenting children where they exist, and the household if they co-habit. Relationship rules are established and enacted through relationship practices that establish the abusive partner as the key decision-maker who is able to set the terms for the relationship; and through their expressions of need and neediness. The victim/survivor is positioned as responsible for caring and emotion work for abusive partner, their abusive behaviours and the relationship. We propose that relationship rules can be understood to reflect gendered understandings of roles in dominant constructions of adult (heterosexual) love, for example those of decision-making (masculinity) and carer (femininity). Yet the fact that they are enacted by partners in same sex relationships as well suggests that it is not the gender of the partner to a relationship per se that necessarily defines which role they will inhabit. Rather, we suggest that it is the dominant scripts about how (heterosexual) relationships might be lived that influences and shapes the relationship dynamic (p.121)”
Types of Abuse
The types of abuse utilized in a campaign of coercive control include psychological, financial, sexual, reproductive, child, legal, physical and post-separation abuse (H. Douglas, 2017; L. Fontes, 2015; E. Katz, 2022a). In this regard the conceptual framework bears resemblance to that proposed by Brazil’s domestic abuse law, Lei da Maria da Penha (Lei 11.340/06), which condemns physical, psychological, sexual, patrimonial and moral abuse.
The pattern of abuse found in coercive control stands in contrast with episodic, situational, physical violence (A. Barnett, 2017; L. Fontes, 2015; M. Johnson, 2008; E. Katz, 2022a; E. Stark, 2007). Unlike episodic violence, coercive control is a “strategic campaign of abuse” (J. Hill, 2019, p.33). While a campaign of coercive control may include episodes of physical violence, a form of domestic abuse that M. Johnson (2008) had referred to as intimate terrorism (L. Fontes, 2015; E. Stark, 2007), a perpetrator may exert nonviolent coercive control. In NCC, the principal tactics of abuse are psychological in nature (A. Barnett, 2017; K. Crossman et al, 2016; J. Daw et al, 2022) and induce psychological erosion in the victim/survivor, and are employed to create and exploit personal and structural vulnerabilities leading to entrapment.
Such personal and structural vulnerabilities might include immigration status (L.Fontes, 2015, p.22; D. Stephens, 2021), lack of host-country language proficiency (L.Fontes, 2015, p.22), health conditions (R. Hogan, 2022), restricted access to independent financial resources (E. Katz, 2022a), and the illusion of a loving relationship forged by grooming behavior, strengthened by intermittent punishment/reward, and the resultant trauma bond, sometimes referred to as “traumatic bonds” (L. Fontes, 2015, p. 82), the Stockholm syndrome (A. Kippert, 2021) and paradoxical attachment (D. Dutton & S. Painter, 1993).
Stealthy & Sequenced
The dynamics of this abuse pattern are often characterized as stealthy and insidious and as such, the fact that the victim is being abused may appear obscured by the tactics of abuse to both others, such as family and friends, and even to victims themselves (J. Daw et al, 2022; L. Fontes, 2019; R. Hogan, 2022). Some have likened the stealthy nature of coercive control to the way in which we don’t perceive boiling water boil until it scalds (J. Daw et al, 2022).
In 2005, Mary Anne Dutton and Lisa Goodman first raised the idea that the tactics of coercive control may be sequenced. In 2020, Australian Coercive Control expert, Dr. Torna Pittman proposed a staged model of coercive control in which she suggested binding, grooming, and gaining trust were sequential building blocks for tactics of future abuse, such as emotional withdrawal or ‘discard’.
There is emerging evidence that in some situations, at least, the tactics of nonviolent coercive control may occur in sequential stages according to Professor Jane Monckton-Smith (2019) who conducted research on nonviolent coercive control and Intimate Partner Homicide. According to J. Monckton-Smith (2019), “the stages are sequential, in that one follows on from another and show how and why risk may be escalating taking account of the perpetrator mind-set.”
The staged model described by J. Monckton-Smith was used as a framework for further inquiry in a first of its kind qualitative study that supported both the sequenced, staged model of nonviolent coercive control that lead to either domestic homicide or victim suicide and further explored an escalation of psychological abuse over time (J. Daw et al, 2022). Through this study, the research supported the notion that early grooming behaviors lead to the isolating tactics of jealousy and possessiveness.
While coercive control may often seem to begin as a love story, it is not uncommon for victims to report feeling like they were reduced to a shadow of their former selves by its end (J. Daw et al, 2022; L. Fontes, 2015; E. Katz, 2022a) and for it to sometimes end in death through abuse-induced suicide (J. Daw et al, 2022; J. Kafka et al, 2022) and domestic homicide (J. Monckton-Smith, 2021).
Controlling & Coercive Defined
The conceptual framework of coercive control will underscore that to be considered coercive control, as compared to other forms of abuse such as those described in the Lei da Maria da Penha, for example, the perpetrator’s behavior will reflect 1) control as a pervasive, ongoing, pattern of extensive control and 2) coercion as the existence of a credible threat of punishment, creating a dynamic of abuse that induces the victim/survivor to become obedient, compliant, if not subservient, in time (A. Barnett, 2017; E. Katz, 2022a).
The combination of the presence of “credible threat” and control induces in the victim a sense of anxiety and fear that is sometimes described as walking on egg shells (E. Katz, 2022a). This definition echoes that proposed by the United Kingdom in their official definition of coercive control (Crown Prosecution Services, 2022).
As psychiatrist, Franz Fanon (1961) observed, oppression is internalized by the oppressed. In this vein, Dr. Emma Katz’ (2022a) research reveals that “a hallmark of the victim’s behavior in this state is “self-policing”: habitually attempting to eliminate actions perceived as bringing about negative reactions by the perpetrator, even at times where the perpetrator is not present to witness those actions” (p.14). She adds, “fear of conflicting with the perpetrator’s wishes will therefore usually keep the victim/survivor in a state of long-term and continual dread and compliance” (p.14).
Credible Threat of Punishment
While campaigns of coercive control may include episodes or threats of physical violence as forms of punishment (E. Stark, 2007), nonviolent coercive control relies on other tactics of punishment, principally those that are psychological in nature (CPS.Gov.UK, 2022; J. Daw et al, 2022; L. Fontes, 2017; E. Katz, 2022a; Parliament of Australia, 2022; E. Stark & M. Hester, 2019; C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017).
With regard to credible threat, punishments are calibrated in accordance with the skills of the perpetrator and to the vulnerabilities of the victim (J. Daw et al, 2022; L. Fontes, 2015; E. Katz, 2022a; C. Wolford-Clevenger et al, 2017). Of note, the psychological abuses of coercive control are greater predictors for suicidal ideation in the victim, as compared to episodic physical violence (J. Daw et al, 2022; C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017).
One example of such a punishment is the ‘silent treatment’, which is more than simply being uncommunicative; it is an act of power and control by which an abuser refuses to acknowledge or speak to a victim for days, sometimes weeks on end, making the victim feel “less than human-like a ghost” (D. Austin, 2021; L. Fontes, 2015, p.42).
For C. Wolford-Clevenger et al (2017) the silent treatment is akin to what they term, hostile withdrawal. They describe hostile withdrawal as “the aggressive, intentional, and painful removal of important social connection”. They add that “experiencing hostile withdrawal from one’s partner may be associated with increases in suicidal ideation”, according to their research (C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017, p. Unknown).
Dr. Katz (2022a) notes that, “it will be clear to the victim/survivor (either implicitly, by his past words or actions, or explicitly by him having stated what he will do) that if they disobey, he will punish them with a negative reaction that they fear, dread, or find profoundly upsetting…He will have established at an early stage of his coercive control that he is willing and capable of carrying out his threats…The perpetrator’s negative reaction is not necessarily a dramatic act of violence; it could be a less dramatic act, for example, withdrawal of affection for a period of time…The victim/survivor will be aware of the continual presence of this threat (victims/survivors often report that they “just knew” what would happen if they disobeyed or failed to please the perpetrator); and so the will feel that they have to be extremely and constantly careful with what they say and do (“walking on eggshells”) (p.12-13).
Coercive Control & Estelionato Sentimental:
Similarities & Differences
Estelionato Sentimental is a type of romance fraud criminalized in Brasil. While romance fraud has a devastating impact on thousands of people worldwide each year, it remains an under-studied phenomenon (C. Cross et al, 2018). Romance fraud refers to the intentional financial exploitation of a victim who is lead to believe they are in a genuine, affectionate relationship (C. Cross et al, 2018; C. Neves, 2020).
Research conducted by C. Cross et al, (2018), has established similarities between romance fraud to aspects of coercive control that include economic abuse, creation of fear, isolation, monopolization, degradation, psychological destabilization, emotional withdrawal (see C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017), and contingent expressions of love (ie using “affection” as a manipulation).
While there are similarities in tactics, one key difference in some circumstances is that economic abuse in the context of coercive control exists primarily to obtain and maintain control of a victim, to entrap, as well as to exploit. In romance fraud, the main objective is to acquire financial resources (C. Cross et al, 2018). The full scope and impact of economic abuse in coercive control remains an under-explored phenomenon.
Dr. Lisa Fontes (2019) in discussing the beginning of a relationship that will be characterized by coercive control notes that “intense romance can be a form of grooming, a predatory tactic that is meant to build a deep emotional connection” with a victim. She adds, these “abusers know exactly what they are doing”. An unsuspecting victim is made to feel that they are cherished, adored, and beloved.
In this manner, this particular aspect of coercive control bears conceptual similarity to the financial crime and “golpe de amor” of Estelionato Sentimental, in which a victim is made to feel adored only in service of eventually being financially exploited (C. Neves, 2020; P. Nunes dos Santos, 2020; T. Rocha Lins d’Albuquerque, 2021) and unlike the typical Estelionato Sentimental, a coercive control assault can endure for decades (E. Katz, 2022b). Having said this, there are cases of estelionato sentimental that have endured for extended periods of time, as well, such as one recently reported that endured for 13 years (Felice, R, 2022; Tempo, August 15, 2022).
With regard to estelionato sentimental, Brasilian family law attorney, Claudia Neves, has written with clarity on the subject. Note that the conceptual framework of estelionato sentimental, articulated in Article 171 of the Brasilian Penal Code, bears resemblance to the tactic of love-bombing, which represents the initial phase of a coercive control assault. Ms. Neves (2020) writes: “Unfortunately, in the midst of the search for the perfect match, sometimes unbridled, there are some people along the way who are not willing to establish a real affective bond, but rather to earn, in a small and petty way, the most several advantages in an apparently loving relationship”.
“Yet, there are people who take advantage of the trust established within a ‘romantic relationship’ to apply blows, mainly of a financial nature, such as the case that occurred, earlier this year, in the state of Mato Grosso, where a man was sentenced to indemnify and reimburse the damages caused to a woman, as a result of the practice of sentimental fraud.” Ms. Neves will continue by describing the mechanics of this fraud. “This occurs when one of the partners uses the trust gained from the relationship, aiming to unilaterally obtain economic and financial advantages at the expense of the other. All through the illusion created in the victim, who believes he is experiencing a perfect relationship, wrapped in simulated attitudes of attention and affection.”
Stealthy Nature, Special Skills of the Perpetrator
As with all abuses disguised as love, the tactics used are often stealthy. Not only is the abuse likely to go unnoticed by the victim (L. Fontes, 2015; E. Katz, 2022b; S. Heller, 2016; R. Hogan, 2022; C. Neves, 2020), it is likely to go unnoticed by friends and family (L. Fontes, 2019). As Dr. Lisa Aranson Fontes (2019) observes, describing machiavellian behavior, “abusers strategically act charming and helpful to others so that these individuals cannot imagine the cruel acts occurring behind closed doors”.
A coercive control expert from Ireland, Richard Hogan (2022) observes, “coercive control is a type of abuse that is almost impossible to see. It is an invisible prison that subjugates and obliterates the agency and self of the person caught in its terrible grip. It is a protracted system of control designed to shrink the victim's life down to nothing so that they are dependent on the perpetrator for nearly everything.”
And as previously mentioned, J. Daw et al (2022) liken the victim’s experience of the process of coercive control as akin to not noticing the boiling water boil until it scalds. The stealthy nature of the abuse pattern is underscored by the oft absence of physical violence. Hogan (2022) notes, physical violence is often the last weapon used in nonviolent coercive control, as it is this obvious act of abuse that alerts the victim to the fact that they are being abused.
With regard to the stealthy nature of coercive controllers, Dr. Fontes (2015) also notes that “some people manipulate their partners though their position of area of expertise. For instance”, she writes, “an attorney who controls or abuses his partner understands both the law and the way it is enforced locally. He knows what he can get away with having to face prosecution” (pp. 45-46).
Selected Tactics of Abuse
The types of abuse utilized in a campaign of coercive control include psychological, financial, sexual, reproductive, child, legal, physical and post-separation abuse (L. Fontes, 2015, 2022; E. Katz, 2022a). Additionally, an abuser may use micro-regulation of the victim’s daily activities, monitoring communication, and surveillance (L. Fontes, 2015). In general, tactics of abuse are calibrated to the profile of the victim and are meant to control, punish, instill fear, as well as diminish self-worth, personal agency, and psychological competency (A. Barnett, 2017; E. Katz, 2022a). While tactics vary, the pattern of abuse often begins with grooming, social isolation, and induced dependence (L. Fontes, 2015, p. 15).
In this section, we will highlight selected tactics of psychological abuse, economic-financial-patrimonial abuse, physical abuse, and post-separation abuse. Special attention will be given to the stealthy nature of coercive control and the advantage given perpetrators with special knowledge or skills. Finally, attention will be given to the increased suicidality and risk of suicide amongst victims coercive control, referred to as forced suicide in France and homicide by proxy in the United Kingdom.
Psychological Abuse
In this section, we will turn our attention to the broad overview of tactics of psychological abuse as described by Dr. Emma Katz (2022a) and then further highlight the role of selected tactics, including: grooming & trauma bonding; isolation & induced dependency; gaslighting; lies & manipulation; the silent treatment & emotional withdrawal; anger & rage; inducing shame & humiliation; and coerced criminal activity. Of special note, as this is a childless situation, attention is not given to the manner in which children are harmed in coercive control both directly and indirectly, including in the post-separation abuse tactic of alleging falsely claims of Parental Alienation (for this discussion, see E. Katz, 2022a).
While often discussed in the literature as ‘psychological’ abuse, what we think of as psychological is better understood as psychophysiological (A. Ahlers, 2020; D. Godfrey et al, 2020). That is to say that tactics of psychological abuse, including isolation, cruel indifference, the silent treatment, denigration, humiliation, shaming, gaslighting, lies, manipulation, threats, intimidations, and rageful yelling (P. Carnes, 2017; L. Fontes, 2015; E. Katz, 2022a), all have biological correlates as neuroscience indicates that they negatively impact brain functioning (A. Ahlers, 2020; D. Godfrey et al, 2020; A. Kippert, 2016; H. Rosenthal, 2019). For Evan Stark (personal communication, September 28, 2022), “psychological abuse is mainly harmful in the presence of other constraints, like economic exploitation or isolation”.
The ongoing psychological distress leads to psychological erosion, even to the point of psychological annihilation, which E. Stark (2007) captures in his use of the neologism, perspecticide. Drawing upon the concept of percepticide, expressed by Marcelo Suarez-Orozco in his 1990 essay discussing the induced mass dissociation in response to state sponsored terror In Argentina, Stark (2007) uses the concept of perspecticide to denote the impact that coercive control has in inducing in the victim the loss of their self-hood, that is their own separate identity, thoughts, feelings, goals and life-project. They become reduced to passive observers of their own life.
The ongoing psychological distress caused by coercive control and its multiple tactics of abuse may lead to emotional dysregulation and PTSD like symptoms in the victim (D. Godfrey et al, 2020, J. Herman, 1992; M. Munoz-Rivas et al, 2021; H. Rosenthal, 2019). Not only are the chains that bind the victim to the perpetrator invisible (L. Fontes, 2015), but unlike those of physical abuse, the bruises of psychological abuse are invisible as well (D. Godfrey et al, 2020; H. Rosenthal, 2019).
The psychological abuse tactics utilized by the abuser in a coercive control assault have strong correlation with heightened risk for suicidality in the victim (J. Kafka et al, 2022; C. Wolford-Clevenger et al (2017). According to research conducted by C. Wolford-Clevenger et al (2017), the emotional withdrawal on the part of the abuser to the victim, in particular, is associated with elevated risk for suicidal ideation in the victim.
To appreciate the scope of tactics, we escort your attention to the rich description of emotional and psychological abuse as described by Dr. Emma Katz (2022a): “including screaming, belittling, mocking, insulting, humiliating, interrogating, and being contemptuous; using a combination of affection, good times, emotional coldness, and emotional cruelty as part of a system of reward and punishment to habituate the victim/survivor to behave and feel as the perpetrator wishes; sometimes apologizing and making promises to change in order to create false hope in the victim/survivor; denying, minimizing, and blaming other people for their own abusive behavior; undermining the victim’s/survivor’s confidence, self-esteem, and sense of self-efficacy by continually commenting on their “faults”; gaslighting the victim/survivor by encouraging them to think that they are mentally ill or encouraging them to doubt their own memory and perceptions of reality; …using abuse to make the victim/survivor highly dependent on them and then threatening to permanently separate from/be unfaithful to them; making threats to remove children or pets from the victim/survivor if they defy coercive control; …manipulating feelings of empathy, guilt, connection, and responsibility, that the victim/survivor has for them, and their wish to try to help/heal then in order to coerce the victim/survivor into acting against their own best interests; …and creating states of terror, constant worry, and hyper-vigilance, shame and self-blame, emotional exhaustion, emotional desperation, and mental ill health in victims/survivors through sustained abuse actions (E. Katz, pp. 3-4).
Grooming, Trauma Bonding & Cognitive Dissonance
Grooming induces in the victim the experience of feeling cherished and adored; it is not unusual for the perpetrator to refer to the victim as a ‘soul-mate’ or in Brasilian portuguese, an ‘alma-gemea’ (L. Fontes, 2019; E. Katz, 2022a, 2022b). Sometimes it might be characterized as a whirlwind romance, but for others, it may be a slower, steadier process of being groomed (T. Pittman, 2020).
Claire Strutzenberg (2017) identifies love-bombing as a pattern of behavior, often characterized by the demand for excessive communication at the beginning of a relationship, “in order to obtain power and control over another’s life” (p.82). Grooming has also been implicated in fostering dependency and creating an initial power differential in a ‘relationship’ (S. Heller, 2016).
Cassandra Weiner (2017) identifies “grooming” as “an essential component of coercive control” (p. 9). She adds, that initial courtship gives way to behavior that isolates, terrifies and emotionally abuses. Like Claire Strutzenberg, Cassandra Weiner notes that it is through grooming that a victim is made vulnerable.
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This seduction, over time, often induces what is referred to as a trauma bond, a neurochemical and psychological hyper-attachment to the abuser, sometimes referred to as the Stockholm syndrome (P. Carnes, 2017; L. Fontes, 2015; S. Stines, 2018). Recent research suggests that the greater the victim’s capacity for empathy the greater the likelihood of traumatic bonding ( J. Effiong et al, 2022). Previous research underscored the tactics of the abuser and noted that the presence of power-over or dominance and the use of intermittent reward/punishment significantly influenced the presence of an over-attachment (D. Dutton & S. Painter, 1993).
The trauma bond is akin to a poly-substance addiction of the victim to the abuser, as the process of grooming, reinforced with intermittent kindnesses, will leave the victim dependent on the abuser to regulate a wide range of neurochemicals (R. Freeman, 2017). Neurochemicals that become regulated through this pattern of abuse include oxytocin (which promotes bonding, well-being and trust), serotonin, and dopamine (S.L. Finley, 2019; R. Freeman, 2017) amongst others.
The feelings engendered by grooming and intermittent kindnesses serve to confuse the victim, leaving them feeling over-attached and holding onto the false hope that the ‘relationship’ might improve, once the escalating tactics of abuse have caused in the victim an increased sense of distress (L. Fontes, 2015, 2020; E. Katz, 2022b) and this may account for why some women victims return to their abuser (D. Dutton & S. Painter, 1993). Additionally, the alternating pattern of intermittent reward with intermittent cruelty or punishment, serves to strengthen the trauma bond or Stockholm syndrome (P. Carnes, 2017; D. Dutton & S. Painter, 1993; S. Stines, 2018).
This amorous seduction will obscure the red flags and warning signs (L. Fontes, 2017), such as unreasonable requests that lead to premature financial entanglement (E. Katz, 2022a) or the subtle erosion of personal boundaries (L. Fontes, 2015). This propensity to ignore or be blind to the red flags and warning signs, may not relate exclusively to the psychology of “falling in love” as much as the surge of the neuropeptide oxytocin induced during an amorous seduction, as research supports the idea that surges of oxytocin stimulate blind trust in others, especially related to financial matters (Mikolajczak, M, 2010).
Relatedly, a strong trauma bond will induce cognitive dissonance in the victim. To illuminate the concept, we will quote Dr. Clare Murphy (2022), an expert on coercive control and psychological abuse: “cognitive dissonance is a theory developed by social psychologist, Leon Festinger, in the 1950s. The theory explains how people respond when their attitudes and beliefs do not match their behaviours. We humans are driven to have harmony between our attitudes and our behaviours and to avoid dissonance, that is, to avoid contradiction. Cognitive dissonance theory explains why women who stay with abusive male partners; they adapt their beliefs and behaviours. They do this so there is no contradiction between staying with him and their thoughts, attitudes and beliefs”.
Isolation & Induced Dependency
As grooming behavior ensues, the abuser will integrate tactics that isolate his victim (L. Fontes, 2015; E. Katz, 2022a; C. Weiner, 2017). According to the Domestic Homicide Time-line model, Stage Two is characterized by tactics that lead to isolation (J. Daw et al, 2022). The use of jealousy and possessiveness, for example, will have the effect of leaving a woman feel like she would rather just stay home than risk the fallout of going out to socialize. Perpetrators may find fault with a victims friends or make them feel guilty for wanting to spend time with them. Additionally, social withdrawal is a not uncommon reaction to abuse amongst female victims (D. Dutton & S. Painter, 1993).
Dr. Lisa Fontes (2015) notes that this isolation sets the stage for a victim to become more dependent on the abuser for emotional support, as she may have come to feel like she has no one else in her corner. According to E. Stark (2012), controllers isolate victims to prevent disclosure and induce dependency. Emma Katz (2022a) notes that it is this induced dependency that then creates a vulnerability through which a victim can be hurt once he emotionally withdraws. As the isolation and dependence on the abuser worsen, the victim is kept from “alternative viewpoints from friends and family that may alert” the victim to the growing dangers that lie ahead (J. Hill, 2019, p. 42).
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse, similar to manipulation. Where the goal of manipulation is to steer the victim to act in such a manner as to meet the needs or interests of the abuser (A. Wood, 2014), gaslighting is a tactic meant to cause psychological erosion, to induce in the victim doubt about their own perception, judgment, memory, and sanity (E. Bates, 2021; E. Hightower, 2017; D. Petric, 2022; Mundo Psicologos, 2017; P. Sweet, 2022; E. Stark, 2007). Far from a benign form of interaction, the abuser’s use of gaslighting, can induce anxiety, depression and even psychosis (S. Mcquillan, 2021; D. Petric, 2022).
The seminal cinematic representation of this type of abuse is depicted in the 1944 movie Gaslight by Patrick Hamilton based on his 1938 play, from which we get the term ‘gaslighting’. In the film, Gregory Anton dims the intensity of the gaslight, leaving Paula to see that the light has dimmed, yet he tells her that the light has not changed at all, leaving her to doubt her perception of reality.
While common gaslight tactics include making a victim doubt their own memory or accuse a victim of being too sensitive (Mundo Psicologos, 2017), some particularly sophisticated abusers may elaborate more complex gaslighting efforts (E. Stark, 2007). To quote E. Stark (2007) directly, lest you not believe: “one husband…removed his wife’s expensive camera from their New York apartment, insulted her for losing his gift, and then secretly returned it to its place when the police arrived to investigate” (p. 255).
Manipulations & Lies
The propensity to manipulate in interpersonal relationships is highly associated with the personality trait of machiavellianism (Brewer, G et al, 2014). In addition to being manipulative, this personality trait is associated with low empathy, pleasure induction, coercion, emotional detachment, and a lack of concern with morality (Brewer, G et al, 2014).
Dr. Lisa Aranson Fontes (2015) observes that amongst the tactics of perpetrators of coercive control is the use of manipulation and lying. Manipulation, she defines as the use of sneaky or deceitful actions on the part of the abuser to exploit a victim for personal gain. As a result of manipulation, the coercive control abuser denies the victim the opportunity for unrestricted volition and “free choice” (L. Fontes, 2015, p. 40). While the tactics are as varied as the skillset of the abuser, she identifies gaslighting, emotional withholding, and the use of skills derived from special training as examples of types of manipulations.
Lying, another type of manipulation, is the use of partial truths, omission, and false statements for personal gain (L. Fontes, 2015). As examples, Dr. Fontes suggests that abusers may conceal hidden relationships, lie for financial gain, and lie to manage or improve their public image. In writing about abusers high in narcissistic traits, cult abuse survivor turned psychoanalyst, Dan Shaw (2022), echoes Dr. Fontes’ observations and notes that these abusers lie as they “rewrite history to create a biography that leaves out any trace of his significant misdeeds, crimes and failures. He never hesitates to lie for the purpose of self-aggrandizement or to blame others for his endless stream of errors and failures” (D. Shaw, 2022, p. 101).
The Silent Treatment & Emotional Withdrawal
Emotional withdrawal, the refusal of empathy and sexual connection, and the silent treatment are aggressive actions in which an abuser exerts power and control over their selected target (L. Fontes, 2020; C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017). Research indicates that coercive control in general, and emotional withdrawal, in particular, on the part of the abuser toward the victim is a strong predictor for suicidal ideation in the victim (C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017).
Of note, the silent treatment activates a pain response in the brain of the victim, inducing emotional pain and a resultant trauma response as though the brain experienced physical abuse (D. Austin, 2021; C. Horne, 2022). Also, of note, as the world has shifted to electronic communication in multiple forms, the failure to respond to text messages, in some circumstances may be a form of the silent treatment in digital form (C. Horne, 2022). The silent treatment and emotional withdrawal are common abuse tactics, in part, it is thought, because it is highly effective and goes unnoticed as abuse to the casual observer, including the victim themselves, at the time (D. Austin, 2021).
Inducing Shame & Humiliation
Coercive control abusers exert power-over and control-of their selected targets by inducing shame through degradation, humiliation, and tactics designed to induce shameful feelings (L. Fontes, 2015; C. Murphy, 2016).
As previously indicated, this tactics of abuse are not just psychological in nature, they possess a neurobiological correlate (D. Austin, 2021; S. Davis, 2019; P. Michi et al, 2014; M. Otten & K. Jonas, 2013). With regard to shame, according to the Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Organization’s website (S. Davis, 2016), “the brain reacts as if it were facing physical danger, and activates the sympathetic nervous system generating the flight/fight/freeze response. The flight response triggers the feeling of needing to disappear.”
Noting the trauma response this type of abuse typically induces, they continue, “the freeze response is what normally occurs when people are faced with trauma where they feel trapped and powerless. The freeze response allows us to survive situations where intolerable things are happening to us.The freeze response to shame has negative consequences too. The freeze response upsets our ability to think clearly, which results in beliefs that we are stuck in a situation where we have no power because we have something wrong with us.”
Anger & Rage
The use of anger and rage as a tactic of abuse in the context of coercive control is an attempt to intimidate and exert power-over and control-of a selected target (L. Fontes, 2015, p. 58, p.80). For Clare Murphy (2022), the use of anger and rage are part of a larger pattern of tactics referred to symbolic aggression and also includes the use of rants, rages, throwing things, dirty looks amongst other tactics of abuse. These behaviors while meant to harm are primarily an attempt to exert control of the selected target through intimidation and by instilling fear (Graham-Kevin, N, 2007).
Economic & Patrimonial Abuse
Economic abuse is both a discrete form of domestic abuse and an aspect of coercive control in which a perpetrator seeks to intentionally acquire, control, and use the resources of their victim (EBF do Vale, 2016; L. Johnson, 2022). This aspect of domestic abuse is conceptually related to the romance fraud crime known as estelionato sentimental in Brasil (C. Neves, 2020; P. Nunes dos Santos, 2020; T. Rocha Lins d’Albuquerque, 2021). According to A. Styliano (2018), economic abuse includes economic control, employment sabotage, and economic exploitation. Of note, an un-explored area in the research is the presence of co-occurring romance fraud and coercive control (C. Cross et al, 2018); but it is possible for both to operate simultaneously in an intertwined manner.
Extreme economic abuse results when “the abuser gains complete control over the victim’s financial resources” (A. Stylianou, 2018, p. 2). The tactics of economic abuse may induce economic dependency and impede a victim’s ability to leave the abusive situation and establish independence (L. Johnson, 2022; E. Katz, 2022a). Relatedly, K. Smith (2021) indicates that the number one red flag for financial abuse is that the abuser ‘takes care’ of the couple’s finances but doesn’t give the victim access to the relevant bank accounts and financial information.
Economic control tactics include the perpetrator impeding the victim’s ability to have an independent bank account, from having financial decision making power, or having full knowledge of shared finances (A. Stylianou, 2018). Other tactics of control might include hiding assets, preventing or blocking access to joint bank accounts, amongst other tactics (A. Stylianou, 2018).
Employment sabotage occurs in both direct and indirect manners (A. Stylianou, 2018; Women’s Aid, The Domestic Abuse Report, 2019). For example, a perpetrator may directly sabotage, discourage, or undermine employment (A. Stylianou, 2018). Additionally, as a result of the abuse, psychological distress may interfere with a victim’s ability to earn a living. In 2019 The Domestic Abuse Report, 57% of victims reported that anxiety, depression, and symptoms of trauma interfered with their ability to seek and maintain employment (Women’s Aid, 2019).
Economic exploitation occurs when a perpetrator intentionally seeks out to deprive a victim of their own financial resources (A. Stylianou, 2018). This tactic includes stealing money, for example (A. Stylianou, 2018). Additional tactics of financial abuse include: “entangling finances” by making bank accounts joint and transferring the victim’s money to that account, in order to reduce one’s financial independence” (E. Katz, p. 13); impeding a victim’s ability to seek relevant education (K. Segler, 2022); not allowing the victim to have their own bank account (K. Segler, 2022); refusing the victim to pay any household bills (K. Segler, 2022); impeding the victim’s access to financial and banking information (K. Segler, 2022); hiding assets (K. Segler, 2022) and refusing to work (S. Gordon, 2020). The United Kingdom Domestic Abuse Organization, Women’s Aid, also notes that having to leave one’s home as a result of abuse is also a type of economic abuse (Women’s Aid, The Domestic Abuse Report, 2019).
An additional sign of financial abuse is a coerced prenuptial agreement or one that was signed under duress (L. Fontes, 2016; J. Landers, 2013) or signed with the intentional restriction of access to information (C. Leonhard, 2012) or an inability to comprehend. According to C. Leonhard (2012), the ability to consent is impeded when one does not have access to necessary information, to underscore the point, he adds, “consent based on limited information cannot be consent that promotes individual autonomy and freedom of contract” (p. 68). Furthermore, he adds, “comprehension is an important requirement for meaningful consent. The ability to understand depends on intelligence, rationality, maturity and language” (p. 68).
Relatedly, tactics of abuse when signing a prenuptial agreement include: the perpetrator undervaluing his assets; failure to provide full disclosure (C. Elliot, 2018); not fully disclosing one’s income; impeding the victim’s ability to seek legal counsel; selecting a lopsided prenuptial agreement that favors the perpetrator’s interests; being tricked into signing a prenup (J. Landers, 2013).
An additional tactic of economic abuse involves incriminating or causing a victim to engage in tax fraud (C. Murphy, 2022). Victims report feeling “paranoid” and “insecure” as a result of being pressured to participate in financial crimes (C. Murphy, 2022).
Physical Abuse
Ample evidence suggests that in many cases of coercive control, physical violence is used as an act of power and control over a victim (M. Johnson, 2008; E. Stark, 2007). However, for many other victims of coercive control, the insidious nature of the abuse is such that a victim may not even perceive that they are being abused and the tactics of abuse are much more likely to be psychological in nature (J. Daw et al, 2022). The distinction between coercive control that relies on physical abuse versus that which relies on psychological abuse is made by referring to the latter as nonviolent coercive control (J. Daw et al, 2022). According to J. Daw et al (2022), “psychologically abusive behaviours are a key indicator of the low-level but routinized coercion that is sufficient for perpetrators to maintain control, without recourse to physical violence”.
As Dr. Emma Katz (2022a) observes, while physical abuse may or may not be employed by the perpetrator, at times when it is used as a tactic it is used toward psychological affect to frighten or intimidate the victim, “to scare them into compliance” (p. 17) not simply or necessarily to hurt.
Not all tactics of abuse are always utilized and while physical violence may be present, it is not always; and sometimes it may be the last type of abuse utilized prompting a victim/survivor to leave the abusive situation (R. Hogan, 2022; E. Katz, 2022a).
Richard Hogan (2022) notes that it is often the absence of physical violence that obscures the fact to the victim that they are under assault. “Violence is often the last weapon used by a coercively controlling partner…many victims often describe how violence would have almost been easier to experience because at least then they would have known they were being abused.”
Hogan (2022) continues, “with coercive control, the victim rarely knows what is happening to them until they are in a situation that is almost impossible to get out of; one that can be extremely dangerous. The victim begins to question their ability to survive without the controlling partner, or in more severe cases they realize that leaving is more dangerous than staying.”
Forced Suicide
The combined effects of the various types of abuse embedded in coercive control lead to grave psychological erosion, hopelessness and despair. Evidence from the United States indicates that as much as 6.1% of completed suicides may be attributable to domestic abuse (J. Kafka et al, 2022). Research indicates that emotional abuse is more strongly associated with suicidal ideation that physical assault (C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017).
Studies have also concluded that victims of coercive control are at greater risk of suicidal ideation than victims of physical assault related to situational violence (C. Wolford-Clevenger, 2017). In the United Kingdom, suicide attempts made due to the duress of psychological abuse are referred to as homicide by proxy (J. Monckton-Smith, 2021). In France, if a suicide occurs in a context of domestic abuse, the abuser faces up to 10 years in prison, for a crime referred to as Forced Suicide (Y. Roberts, 2022).
Post-Separation Abuse
Victims of coercive control are likely to suffer continued abuse post-exit or separation from the perpetrator (Katz, E et al, 2020). Cassandra Weiner (2022), observes that “the control continues once the relationship is over but changes in emphasis from attempting to keep the victim in the relationship to trying to destroy them for leaving it”. Coercive control in the context of post-separation can include activities such as stalking, cyber-stalking, intimidation, threats, manipulation, vexatious litigation, DARVO tactics, violence and homicide, (K. Crossman et al, 2016; L. Fontes, 2015, 2022; J. Freyd, 2022; E. Katz et al, 2020; Clare Murphy, 2022).
In discussing post-separation abuse tactics, we will highlight three: cyberstalking, DARVO, and increased risk for homicide-femicide from coercive controllers as compared to batterers. Cyberstalking (R. Filho, 2021) as expressed in Brasil’s Penal Code (art. 147-a) includes the continued sending of unwanted electronic communication, making repeated unwanted phone calls, and threatening their physical integrity, amongst other actions.
DARVO, which is an acronym for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim - Offender, is similar to any criminals defense. Conceptualized by Jennifer Freyd (2022), it is a process simply in which the guilty party denies any wrongdoing, claims to be falsely accused, and attempts to undermine the credibility of the accuser by implying that they are lying, delusional, or being abusive, as is the case in making false charges of Parental Alienation (J. Freyd, 2022; E. Katz, 2022b).
Finally, research conducted by United Kingdom Coercive Control expert, Professor Jane Monckton-Smith indicates that coercive control predicted homicide more effectively than physically violent abuse tactics by six times and that the exit of the relationship presents a heightened risk for homicide (J. Monckton-Smith, 2022).
Entrapment
The combined array of tactics of abuse employed, along with the creation and exploitation of personal and structural vulnerabilities leads to both a psychological and a structural entrapment (E. Katz, 2022a; E. Stark, 2007). Evan Stark (2012) likens this entrapment to a hostage-like situation, because as a result of coercive control there is a “suppression of a victim’s autonomy, rights and liberties” (p. 5). As Richard Hogan (2022) observes, this sense of entrapment renders a victim to question their own ability to survive without the perpetrator and leads them simultaneously dreading to remain but feeling that it is impossible to leave the abusive situation.
Conclusion: Coercive Control is a Liberty Crime
Famed sociologist and pioneering coercive control researcher, Dr. Evan Stark (2007), has rightly referred to coercive control as a liberty crime as it reduces a victim’s capacity for autonomy, personal agency, and individual freedoms.
Of note, Coercive Control, as with the same types of violences condemned by the Lei da Maria da Penha (11.340/06), should be regarded as a punishable offense according to several principles enshrined in the Brasilian Federal Constitution, chief amongst them the obligation of the Brasilian Federal Government to protect citizens and legal permanent residents in the context of family life as established in article 226, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, as expressed in the recent Supreme Court decision that criminalizes homo-trans-phobia equal to racism (see ADO 26 and MI 4733, P. Iotti, 2022).
The United Nations (2022) relates the pain and suffering caused by this and other types of domestic violence to that caused by psychological torture and other forms of cruel and degrading treatment. While the essential elements of Coercive Control are robustly addressed in the Lei da Maria da Penha, there is benefit in bringing greater focus to coercive control through legislation action. Of note, some countries, such as Scotland, England, Wales, and Ireland have enacted additional domestic abuse legislation specific to this type of domestic abuse (E. Guy, 2022), we encourage Brasil to join them in this effort.
References
Em Anexo
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(Bear with me as I flesh out some of my own ideas about Coercive Control; additional references to follow.) Coercive Control is a multi-phas...
